Single Parenting and Baseball: How are they alike?

I am a baseball Mom! I have 2 boys that are all about some baseball. For us it is a year round sport. Did you even know that you can play baseball year round? Well you can. I have an 8 and 11 year old. Both boys play park ball and the older one plays travel baseball. This is our first year. And I say “Our” not “His” because someone has to take him to the practices and all the games. We also play Fall Park Baseball and Spring Baseball though the older one may not be able to play Park ball come spring due to Travel Baseball and games tournament schedules.

Here we are a little over two weeks in and we have had more practices then I can count on two hands and I am feeling exhausted. My older one is playing in the Major League and the little one is in Minor League. For my little one it is his first year in kid pitch baseball. After watching a few of his practices I got to think about how baseball at the many different levels is a lot like life and being a single parent.

When you are a kid all you want to do is be in the infield because that is where the most important and best players are. All the kids want to be the best. No one wants to play in the outfield. I mean really think about it. How many kids do you see ask the coach, “Hey Coach I want to be centerfield?” I know that is a song but it is not reality. It is the same for us Single Parents who were once married. I know that some people today are choosing not to find a spouse before having a baby but the norm is to get married and then have a baby. But then something happens and the marriage falls apart and all of a sudden we are in the outfield. We are Single Parents trying to get by. We lose our dreams, some income and sometimes our sanity it feels like. We want to be the infielders, part of the team and not stuck out there by ourselves. What most kids don’t realizes that as they move from Park Ball to Travel to High School and College, the outfield becomes one of the most important positions on the team. Yes you have to have a good pitcher and catcher but if you have an outfield that can’t catch a ball you are going to be in big trouble. So for us single parents we have to learn to enjoy being single parents while we are out there in the outfield. We should be focusing on ourselves and our kids before trying to get back into the infield, aka dating or marriage. If not we become lousy infielders and get moved right back out to the outfield. 

So how can we focus on ourselves? Our kids?

I have found that for me I need to focus on my faith and health to be the best mother I can be. When either of these start to slack off, I can tell a big difference. When I don’t pray and/or studying the bible regularly things seem to fall to pieces. When I eat junk and don’t exercise I feel sluggish and I get very irritable. When these two things are in check I am a better mother. Once I have it together I then need to focus on my kids. Now I am not saying ignore them until the others are taken care of, but I need to be consistently working on all three things. The kids have school and baseball. They need to be taught responsibility, good habits, be encouraged & guided to growth their faith and they need to be kids too. They need to have some fun. For my boys that means some time on the computers or xbox, playing wall-ball or shooting targets with their airsoft guns. Summers are spent hanging out with their friends in the pool or camping out in the many tree houses in the neighborhood.

Beachbody helps me be able to be there for my kids. I can get a great workout in at home and if the kids are feeling it that can work out with me too. It gives me the opportunity to own and work my own business from home and hopefully one day be able to  fire my boss (or at least go part time) and be able to spend more time with the kids.

You have to find what works for you and stick with it. If you are a single parent out there find other single parents you can talk to or hang out with that will not pressure you to date or marry again quickly. You cannot move back into the infield until you are ready. That might take a year or two and it may take until the kids are in college. Everyone is different. We have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else.